News Archive
The Really Old Stuff
April 2000 - June 2000
24 April 2000
No Parties Not Held at BFI
Once again, no party was not held in a PGA hangar while the Boss is "missing." Nobody didn't have a good time, no one drank no booze, and the BeechJet did not fail to get started in the hangar again (which of course did not leave the place anything but an absolute disaster).
Highlights of the evening did not include: a small amount of alcohol; all the king crab no one could eat; Dave Spurlock keeping his dinner (don't not watch your step on the ramp!); no belly-dancing lessons for Darby from the mechanic; Luke not taking the spurs to the fuselage of the BeechJet and then not failing to pass out on the windscreen; no poetree readings by Baldrick, a drunken sod in a chair, and the mechanic; no singing by the Impromptu Quartet (boldly not uninterrupted by the unique whine of two turbine engines spinning up, followed by the unmistakeable sound of the left engine's not failing to suck up a socket wrench); absolutely no sightings of a six-foot tall rabbit; a failure to discover that the "chocolate" eggs didn't not smell suspiciously like something out of a cat box; the dog not getting drunk; and likely a number of other things that no one doesn't remember.
Highlights of this morning included another outbreak of the "hangover flu" and Michael waking everyone up with a fire hose. Looks like the O2 bill will be up again for this week.
Top Pilots
Officially, we can verify "top pilot" status this week for Daniel Logan (1107), with 7.12 hours. Ron Boylan (1062) came in second with 6.2 hours.
However, Supervisor Dave Keeran (1031) was unable to get his pilot reports summarized and submitted in time for last week's update and, while we do not have the numbers broken down by week, management would like to recognize Mark Blades (1077), who has flown a total of 27.87 hours in the last two weeks.
Overall, Lukexcom (1039) still holds the lead with 178.72 hours, with Darby Willcox (1013) trailing behind in the number two spot with 141.74 PGA hours.
Great job, everyone!
Promotions
* Mark Blades (1077) has been promoted to ATP
* Daniel Logan (1107) has been promoted to Commercial Pilot
* Dick Lisboa (1027) has been promoted to Commercial Pilot
* Lars Martin Knutsen (1108) has been promoted to Private Pilot
* Mike Mitchell (1072) has been promoted to Student Pilot
Congratulations!
Student Pilot Damages Friendly Fred's Hangar
Captain Blackadder's School for Flying took a new student this week, namely the little blonde who sits out in front of the Boeing Field FBO to ensure transient planes taxi over to buy fuel from us and not from the competition (I might add that it works like a charm). Being the nice guy that he is, he made her a deal on the jet pilot introductory lesson, with the following results:
Student Crashes Jet
So now it's Fred's turn to complain about "that pesky Fokker..."
Celebration Planned for PGA Anniversary
Can you believe it's been almost NINE MONTHS since PGA first opened its doors and started accepting applications? August 31, 1999... a day of infamy. Seems like both yesterday and about a million years ago to those of us at the helm! Since then, PGA has grown far beyond what any of us really expected, even given what we knew from Fred Brubaker's Bay Area Charter enterprise. Things seem to be going pretty well, with (as of this afternoon) 112 pilots on the roster and new ones signing on every week.
It seemed to us that something special would be in order for the one year anniversary of PGA, and so, as revealed by Dave Spurlock (1094) on the forum, there is an adventure in the works. We're not sure quite how it's all going to work yet, but it's coming together and likely will involve several flights and even some adventures that may be downloaded and flown.
For those who have been wondering about the impromptu adventure on the old BAC forum that Dave referenced in his forum message, there is a link to that forum on the bottom of each PGA page. It's a little weird because everyone was making it up as we went along, but actually proved quite a lot of fun.
Another idea in the works for the anniversary festivities is an Air Race. If anyone has ideas for how we can verify actual times flown in FU3 for this project, please e-mail the Boss. For that matter, if there are other events you think would have a place in the celebration, please e-mail and let me know!
Jim Razzi Victim of Voodoo?
Pilot Jim Razzi (1113) recently has been experiencing an odd condition where, in the middle of a flight, the whole world will suddenly freeze solid. Nothing moves, nothing can be moved. Eventually, Jim must pull the plug, and after a few minutes of seeing nothing but an odd, glowing, multicolored window flying out of the clouds, Jim finds himself back in the FBO. Obviously this problem makes it very hard to complete a flight; Jim hasn't closed a flight plan in nearly a month, and is beginning to arouse suspicion at the FAA.
Fellow pilots have offered many different solutions, and the most likely seems to be that he is overheating. This reporter suggests that Jim should keep the cowl flaps open and add a cooling fan or two, especially if his aircraft has a particularly cramped engine compartment. An alternative solution might be to sacrifice his Voodoo card entirely, as it is suspected to carry with it a curse that acts only upon Flight Unlimited 3. But really -- what do you expect from a Voodoo card?
Pilot Reports
"Gentleman Dave" Spurlock (1094) was rightly suspicious when PGA dispatcher Walter first gave him an assignment involving a pretty female biologist named Beth who was needing some water samples, and then encouraged Spurlock to take advantage of his close proximity to her. When Dave picked up the young lady, he found her to be everything advertised -- good looking, witty, personable, and generally very nice to have around. However, Walter's attitude had set off every alarm he had, and so he remained professional and courteous.
At the third stop for water samples, however, Beth stepped out onto the float and fell into the water. Spurlock was assisting her to get back into the plane when physics happened and he suddenly found himself sprawled across the co-pilot seat with said biologist on top of him and his face "planted firmly between her... uh... assets." Through sheer force of will, Spurlock managed to keep his hands to himself while he politely (and verrry patiently) waited for her to catch her breath and move.
The two eventually disentangled themselves in mutual embarrassment, which was not helped by the fact that Beth's t-shirt had become translucent from the water. Gentleman that he is, Dave tried very hard not to stare (he almost succeeded) and provided a towel, whereupon they completed the flight.
Of course, what Spurlock didn't know at the time is that Beth is the daughter of RWSTD Chief Pilot and Bottle Washer Michael Richards (1003), and so it is well that he managed to behave himself. Fortunately, Michael was amused by Beth's report of the incident, and Spurlock may safely continue to feel enriched by the experience.
Jesse "Pattern Recognition" Kasper (1070) flew near a cloud and discovered the ride got bumpy for about a minute. When he neared another cloud about five minutes later, it got even more bumpy for about 30 seconds. On this basis, we speculate that had he continued approaching clouds at five-minute intervals, he eventually would have experienced one very large bump for about 0.9475 second. Unfortunately, that bump probably would have been the the mountain next to the cloud...
However, he stopped his experiment after two clouds and went on to stall the airplane on final approach and bend the right main gear coming down just short of the runway. Fortunately, he was able to repair it himself and continue on his way.
Geoff "Spotlight" McLean (1071) says there were "Bears everywhere at Bandera State" when he flew in there last week in rain and gusting winds. By the time he reached Bandera it was dark, so he turned on his landing lights and discovered that they don't seem to do a lot to illuminate the ground. McLean reports he was terrified of slamming into a mountain in the dark, and we agree that's a fine thing for a pilot to be terrified about under such circumstances. He eventually found what he decided to call the runway and landed hard. Fortunately, he wasn't far off, and was able to take off again with his cargo and continue the flight, vectors ILS back home where he again landed hard and heard a crunch. He says he stepped out of the plane right there in the middle of 31R and kissed the tarmac. Surprisingly, Tower hadn't a thing to say about it. Maybe they thought he was the Pope?
Mark "You Show 'Em" Blades (1077) gave a planeload of MicroSerfs the ride of their lives going through "the eyeball juggling turbulence of a thundery evening in Seattle" in FUIII, and speculates they'll be busy rewriting the code for FS2000 over the next several weeks in a vain attempt to achieve such excellence. He reports that Bouncing Betty at Approach vectored him right under the base of the biggest of the thunderheads, and so didn't need to yo-yo him around herself this time, just let the updrafts and downdrafts do it for her. We swear, she gets lazier by the week...
Oh, and Mark? Don't think the Boss didn't catch that little comment about the "third engine." She has a very long memory, and believes revenge is a dish best served cold...
Michael "Practice Makes Perfect" Droy (1069) was actually pleased when the weather turned out worse than forecast because he felt he needed to practice bad weather procedures. Later on, he commented that he needs to practice night landings. Well, welcome to the company, Michael! I'm sure we'll be able to dredge up all of the bad weather and night landings you could ever want!
Mark "Mayday!" Thould (1083) was flying vectors ILS into Sacramento Exec and had just been cleared to land when he had the heart-pounding experience of watching his oil pressure gauge plummet to nothing. The engine cut out entirely just as he crossed the threshhold, and he greased it in for a beautiful landing. He is thanking his lucky stars that Sac Approach had not followed normal procedure for once and did not vector him all over the sky before lining him up to intercept the localizer. It's almost like they knew something was going to happen...
Thould also followed in the best example of other PGA pilots who have gone before him by getting arrested at Travis AFB while delivering a "Mr. X" under cover of night and without transponder, lights, or radio. Unfortunately, he got caught when he (ahem) cleared the runway, and when he turned around to ask Mr. X's assistance he found his passenger to be (surprise, surprise) gone. The Sergeant didn't believe a word of his story, and hit him with a TASER before dragging him off for further questioning. He left a message on the answering machine at San Jose, but of course the Boss is nowhere to be found...
Jon "Need for Speed" Biggles (1079) has been enjoying a busy week flying anything BUT the Trainer now that he has his Private Pilot license, and says it's great finally being able to fly the fast planes. His only adventure this week was related to a "dodgy" trim button with a mind of its own that nearly flipped the plane onto its back as he took off from Sequim Valley, causing him to scrape the tail rather badly.
Daniel "I Need a Mop" Logan (1107) was annoyed when the air was so inconsiderate as to be turbulent and cause his passengers to become sick all over the inside of his Trainer. Unfortunately, flying your own plane means cleaning your own plane... Wait a minute. Flying a PGA plane also means cleaning it. Never mind then.
Andy "Autopilot" Booth (1046) comments he'd forgotten how hard it can be to fly with wind and no autopilot. Looking for a career with Delta, perhaps?
Sergey "Crab" Ostrozhinsky (1093) has been busy making airport descriptions for his Airport Facility Directory (see the Downloads page), but took a little time out to fly his favorite Arrow that is always ready, even in the evening and in the rain. He says at altitude he found a heavy crosswind and no was obliged to fly sideways like a crab.
After departing Sacramento, he found himself wishing he had an autopilot. Night came, and he was still hanging in the dark and the fog for about half-an-hour under the guidance of Approach control. Finally, he was allowed to intercept the localizer and thought we would land soon... until he saw the big airliner slowly outrunning him in the same direction! Of course, the controller gave the airliner preference, and Sergey was allowed to land the next time around.
Ryan "Hmmm" Griffin - Stegink (1009) claims Graywood Ranch is harder than Moskowite, to which a seasoned PGA pilot responded "you should try Moskowite sometime with a canoe strapped to your @$$." Ryan says he had to slam the plane down so hard the cotter pin jiggled loose from the front gear and it nearly collapsed. It took him over half an hour of searching to find that little pin in the deep dirt runway. Fortunately, he found it and was able to continue on to Allen Ranch, which he classifies as an "old friend." There are many things there that bring back fond memories, like the tire tracks from when he overshot the runway, and the little piece of glass that was broken off the tip of one of the company Arrows (did the Boss hear about that?) when he clipped the windsock...
Interestingly, when he flies his OWN plane into Allen Ranch, the landing is described as "dull"...
1 May 2000
Seattle "Hangover Flu" Epidemic
It was a relatively quiet week for PGA in Seattle, as many pilots seemed to be suffering from a bout of what has been dubbed the "Hangover Flu." So called because the symptoms closely resemble a hangover that almost no one would not have after not attending any non-parties that didn't not happen last week, the Hangover Flu is an unusual virus that seems to strike groups of pilots all at once, often lasts less that 24 hours, and yet does not seem to be particularly contagious. No one has yet determined how the virus is spread, but it is suspected that the large pile of bottles behind the BFI hangar might have something to do with this particular outbreak.
Top Pilots
Top pilot this week was Dave Spurlock (1094) with a total of 14.6 hours. Number two spot goes to Mark Thould (1083) with 11.29 hours.
Overall, Lukexcom (1039) still holds the lead with 178.72 hours, but Dave Spurlock (1094) has overtaken Darby Willcox (1013) to capture the number two slot with a total of 155.13 PGA hours.
Of course, Darby's supervisor, Joel "Just Married" Rogers (1006), has not submitted a pilot summary report in a couple of weeks, so Darby's actual hours are not known at this time. Enjoy it while you've got it, Dave...
Great job, everyone!
Promotions
* Jim Razzi (1113) has been promoted to Private Pilot
* Jeff Cook (1019) has been promoted to Student Pilot
* Daniel Bergman (1055) has been promoted to Student Pilot
* Daniel Fjellstrom (1078) has been promoted to Student Pilot
Congratulations!
New Oxygen Program
The PGA oxygen bill went up substantially last week, causing PGA Guy-in-Charge Michael Richards (1003) to clutch his chest and require a bottle himself when he got the bill. As a result, Baldrick will now be refilling the empty O2 bottles with a bicycle pump out behind the main hangar as an economy measure.
Badgerland Aviation Insurance Closed
Badgerland Aviation Insurance seems to have gone belly-up, as the office has been boarded up and the dust is an inch thick. Despite repeated inquiries, no one has seen nor heard of Insurance agent Rich Branch in several weeks. We do hope everything is all right with him and wish him well.
At any rate, the search is on for a new insurance agent. Check the Classifieds for details.
Aeroflop - Ignited Merger Called Off
The much talked-about merger between Aeroflop and Ignited Airlines (what, you hadn't heard about it?) has been called off after it was discovered the combined names had a serious affect on the stability of the aircraft, as illustrated by the following picture:
New Mechanic Disappears from BFI
Just as she was getting settled into the job, the new redheaded lady (lady? Had anyone seen how she could swing that priming crank handle?) mechanic at Boeing Field has disappeared. Last seen getting into the right seat of Trainer N172N, belonging to Dave Spurlock (1094), no one has seen her since.
"That Spurlock, he was calling her 'insufferable' just a couple of days before that," recalls one pilot on the condition of anonymity. "But that was just because she was immune to the hangover flu and turned up all bright and cheery that morning when the rest of us felt like hell."
Investigators are, of course, investigating.
Boss Reappears in SJC
Grand High Supreme Boss Shanya Whazhername has returned to San Jose. Last seen stumbling away from a pile of scattered Baro... er, Windhawk parts at Newport, Oregon, no one seems to know where the Boss has been for the last two weeks... and she's not talking.
The only clues are that her hair seems to have more of a reddish tint than we remember, and she was seen hopping out of Trainer N172N, which we are reliably informed belongs to Dave Spurlock (1094). Spurlock, who is being sought for questioning by Seattle authorities over the disappearance of the new mechanic from Boeing Field, was not available for comment.
Fellowes Returns
Also back in the fold is wayward bookkeeper, Peter Fellowes (1002), who departed San Jose in his Arrow for parts unknown a couple of weeks ago. He's not talking either, but Rumor Control has it he's been working undercover in Germany, scouting out that other Flight Unlimited 3-based VA.
New Policy
The Boss has decreed that the shutters at the San Jose FBO shall hereafter remain unlocked at all times.
Pilot Reports
blem (what do you mean, "which one"?!), and lost it just his radio stack of Bandera State. Then, while circling around in the darkening sky trying to find the airport, he hit a hill. He says this is getting a little bit annoying and yet, in the very next sentence, wonders what it takes to have an engine failure because he'd like to make a "successful" crash landing.
At last report, several pilots were arm-wrestling in the hangar over who would get to switch planes with him.
New hire Daniel "Meat Grinder" Bergman (1055) also had some difficulties with SSPL7 this week, suffering a radio failure over Olympia and having some difficulty finding R&K Skyranch on his own. When he did find it, he landed and promptly smashed into the cow on the runway. Didn't anyone think to warn him about that?
Anyway, as is the tradition, the locals held yet another barbeque in PGA's honor, and our public relations seem to be up in that part of the terrain. Bergman, however, is learning just how difficult it is to remove all of the ground meat from the cowling of a Trainer.
Michael "Flyin' Low" Droy (1069) caused general panic and disorder when he could not resist a bit of low-level Seattle sight-seeing on the way to his next stop. Fortunately, Droy flies one of the older planes with the six-inch tail numbers, and has not yet been identified by the authorities.
Mark "Adrenalin Rush" Blades (1077) gave his passengers the "ride of their lives" between San Jose and Petaluma this week. Upon hearing they wanted to do a bit of sightseeing on the way, he obliged by taking them through the hangars at Moffett, under the Dumbarton, San Mateo and Bay bridges, then under the Golden Gate. He says, "You should have heard their screams, they must have been having the time of their lives!!!" He does report they seemed a little unsteady on landing, but believes they were satisfied customers. We have faith that they'll be talking about their PGA flight for many years to come.
Rubens "Air Calm" Filho (1076) wants to know why the winds are so strong in the Seattle area in winter, and is looking for a dictionary to present to the controllers at Boeing Field because he says they seem to have a different definition of "calm winds" than he does.
Mark "Momentary Lapse of Reason" Thould (1083) had less luck than some when his turn came up to fly Beth the Biologist around to collect water samples. He opted for the Renegade, and fell asleep while watching the fish at Port of Poulsbo, then had a rude awakening when he fell out the door and into the water.
Unfortunately, he was too confused to swim. Fortunately, Beth was not. She pulled him out of the water and began administering mouth-to-mouth... and in his confused and semi-conscious state he woke up and kissed her! She promptly smacked him, which seemed to clear his head rather quickly so he could finish the flight.
Oh Mark? We hear Michael is looking for you...
Geoff "Anti-Gravity" McLean (1071) lost the flaps in a company Mooney on the approach into SeaTac, which puzzled him as he didn't think they were deployed. All he knew was that he heard a THUMP and on final his flaps didn't work. Good thing SeaTac has a long runway.
Later on, McLean took a Renegade when he went to get some pictures for the new company brochure. Everything was fine until he climbed through 13,000 ft when he suddenly heard a "pinging" from the engine and the RPMs started dropping. He tried a re-start and got a horrible noise. He called a Mayday only to be told the nearest airport (Ranger Creek) was 17 miles away and over three mountain ridges. Fortunately, he had the altitude, and he landed safely at Ranger Creek with a broken prop. Fortunately, the engine was not damaged and the PGA contract mechanic on duty there was able to fix him up in short order.
Brian "Best Climb" Schofield (1060) prefaces his latest adventure with the comment Bergseth is a bit on the tricky side. He then goes on to note that, when turning base at the east end of the strip, the ground outclimbs the Trainer. He then apologizes for the bent gear.
Schofield also would like to know what kind of "dangfool name" is "Coupeville Nolf," as it makes "Skykomish" sound almost normal. You know, he has a point... who thinks up these names, anyway?
Jesse "Fireworks" Kasper (1070) knows how to start a conversation: "I didn't do anything bad, I just followed the book!" Apparently, he started up a Mooney in preparation for a flight and about 20 seconds later the entire panel shorted out. This presumably had something to do with the thunderstorm going on overhead. The second Mooney got him off the ground and to Paine, after he was vectored to about 20 miles North of Everett. He then reports while taxiing back the engine gauges were in the green when suddenly "several of the pistons blew and destroyed the cowling and prop." We think he might be a prodigy.
Bjørn "Icebox" Henjum (1044) was puzzled and alarmed when his newly-acquired Arrow suddenly began losing airspeed and its ability to climb at about 10,000 ft on the way from Seattle to the Bay Area. As he couldn't reach 11,000 ft, he began to wonder if this was the reason he got the Arrow so cheap...?
He struggled into Rogue Valley in Oregon and landed. He used over 3 hours to get this far and his fuel tanks were almost empty upon landing. So he decided to leave the plane there for servicing, and borrowed a Malibu Mirage to complete the flight to SJC, which took less than 2 hours at 20,000 ft.
After he arrived, he mentioned his Arrow woes a mechanic who happened to be around (she looked quite a bit like that one who was working up there at BFI, come to think of it...), and she suggested he probably had encountered icing along the way. When he thought about it, he realized that, as he got out of the plane at Rogue Valley, those great white chunks that were falling off the wings might just have been ice instead of the leading edges themselves. He retrieved the plane from the shop and is pleased to report it flies just fine now, and so it won't be up for sale for a while yet.
Sergey "Red Baron" Ostrozhinsky (1093) doesn't like crosswinds, and less so if they are strong. He also wonders at San Jose's three parallel runways that leave him no way to land in a strong crosswind without breaking the right gear on his Arrow.
Because his favorite Arrow was in for repairs, Ostrozhinsky took the Fokker that the PGA mechanics had just reworked to have a passenger seat for his next flight. He says he wishes we could have seen the expressions of the hikers he was picking up as the red triplane came in for a landing, as they ranged from "This piece of plywood can fly? Great! Funny!" to "This piece of plywood can fly? Awful! I don't want to fly on this crap!"
For those who were reluctant to ride back in the Fokker, he argued that "This model is tested by time! It fly almost century without overhaul! (No, don't lean to it, you can break it!), you breathed too much with this bad-smelling air and MUST to feel that free, fresh, open air high in the sky! And if you don't want to fly, you can walk..."
He says that last argument was the most cogent, although he doesn't know why because these hikers were mostly thin teenagers. He was able to take two of them back per trip by stuffing them into the passenger seat together, so it only took three trips. He says he likes the Fokker for these VFR flights, and was only slightly annoyed with the ringing in the ears after 3 hours of listening to the roar of its engine.
8 May 2000
PGA Relocating
The Boss has been cranky ever since our landlord decided to deface our site with ugly advertising banners, and more so because there is no way to remove the banner from the menu frame without having "pop-up" windows appear at every click. We can think of few things more annoying.
PGA has signed up with another website provider, and will be moving sometime in the next couple of weeks (we hope) after we have tested the site and made sure everything works and is stable. We will keep you posted.
Top Pilots
Daniel Logan (1107) was this week's top pilot, with a total of 14.3 hours. Ron Boylan (1062) took the number two spot with 8.4 hours.
Overall, Lukexcom (1039) is still in front with 189.2 hours, with Dave Spurlock (1094) holding onto second with a total of 158.13 hours. Darby Willcox (1013) fumes behind in third with 155.81 hours. Watch your six, Dave!
Great job, everyone!
Promotions
* Rolo Mace (1038) has been promoted to Senior Captain
* Ryan Griffin-Stegink (1009) has been promoted to ATP
* Geoff McLean (1071) has been promoted to Commercial Pilot
* Bill Summers (1053) has been promoted to Commercial Pilot
* Daniel Bergman (1055) has been promoted to Private Pilot
* Brian Schofield (1060) has been promoted to Private Pilot
* Mike Mitchell (1072) to Private Pilot
* Coolsaet Sylvain (1059) has been promoted to Student Pilot
* Fredric Tai (1065) has been promoted to Student Pilot
* Daniel Fjellstrom (1078) to Student Pilot
* Rick Smith (1114) to Student Pilot
Congratulations!
Insurance Agent Found!
Rich Branch (1030) came stumbling into the PGA main office this last week, babbling incoherently about having been kidnapped and carted off to Arizona, starting classes at Embry-Riddle, and not having internet access for some weeks.
For now, all insurance stuff is on hold while things settle down for him and he determines if he'll be able to carry on with the business or will have to pass it off to someone else. Don't worry -- we'll continue paying for the increased security, as well.
Fish Fingers McLean
Geoff "Busted!" McLean (1071) was picked by Ms. Freddie Fish as the pilot guilty of causing the loss of her "prizewinning bass" last week when he buzzed low over the lake where she was fishing.
After intense negotiations between her lawyer and PGA, Fish was allowed to pay PGA $100 to take McLean home for as long as she likes. He was returned late Sunday evening, looking pale, disheveled, and covered in fish scales.
We would ask, but we probably don't want to know.
Laptop Lost
A complaint was received this week that PGA had lost a passenger's laptop computer during a flight. Investigations into the claim revealed that the passenger was using the laptop to play Rainbow Six during the flight, and took it upon himself to run the sound through the intercom without telling the pilot.
After some very hairy moments during which the pilot thought he was about to be hijacked and during which he squawked 7500 on his transponder (causing alarms to go off at all FAA facilities in the area), said pilot figured out what was going on, grabbed the laptop computer, and promptly "lost" it out the window.
If the passenger still wishes to retrieve his laptop, he may find it "in that lake we passed over... in fact, maybe Ms. Fish has it."
Dog Receives Special Training
PGA Security Dog, Rod Weiller, has received further training relevant to his duties as Head of PGA Security at Boeing Field. All pilots should be aware of the following signals regarding people Rod finds in the PGA area:
* If he ignores them, they are customers
* If he bites them, they are PNWAC pilots
* If he rips the seat out of their pants, they are stray OAC pilots
* If he drags them into a plane, they are PGA pilots who have had their ration of coffee and doughnuts for this trip
* If he buries them, they are PGA pilots who've been away from the shower too long
* If he piddles on their legs, they FAA Inspectors
* If he relieves himself in the front seat of their car, they are military and are not here for a social visit.
Military Joins Investigation
The military is once again (still?) on the lookout for PGA Chief Pot-Stirrer, Dave Spurlock (1094), who is wanted for questioning in the disappearance of the lady mechanic from Boeing Field last week. Said mechanic was last seen getting into Spurlock's plane, although no witnesses have come forth who actually saw her get out of his plane.
The military's involvement stems from a visit to PGA's Hangar by one Major Boyington from McChord AFB. Apparently, he wished to discuss Spurlock's plane with the mechanic. Upon learning that the mechanic was missing and last seen getting into Spurlock's plane, he immediately took over the investigation. Boyington was not available for comment.... and Spurlock's comments were unprintable.
Pilot Reports
In what appears to have been a so-far successful attempt to keep the authorities from finding him, Dave "McChord's Most Wanted" Spurlock (1094) was allowed to check out in the company's Beech King Air last week. After three days of touch & goes at Livermore and ILS approaches into several airfields (not to mention a shave, haircut, and some new clothes), the Boss pronounced him ready and signed him off to fly the X-Plane twin turboprop on long-haul missions.
Spurlock reports there is a big difference between flying a King Air and flying a Trainer between PGA's two main FBOs, not the least of which is that "Bouncing Betty" at SeaTac Approach didn't recognize him and cleared him for a straight in ILS intercept to Runway 34R instead of vectoring him all over the sky as per normal.
Bjørn "Black Seat" Henjum (1044) was struggling through heavy turbulence with a critical load of urgently-needed cheap, retractable ink pens when one of the boxes fell over and several pens broke, spilling ink all over the black... er, back seats of his Trainer. However, Henjum reports that he doesn't mind a bit, as he was planning to have new upholstery put in anyway and now has no excuse to put it off any longer.
What no one told him is one of those pens ended up on the left front seat as well, and when he sat down it broke. Unfortunately, he didn't notice this before going into the FBO after his next flight and sitting down on the chair by the doughnuts. No, not the old chair. The new one the Boss just bought.... Yeah, that's what we said, too.
Brian "Complaints Department" Schofield (1060) was overheard by Swanson Town Council member Ima Meddlelot to say they should just use the sidewalk for landing planes there, as it's "wider than the airstrip." Unfortunately, certain members of the town council who would like to trim the airport out of the budget have seized upon this idea and are looking into the feasibility of combining sidewalk and airport maintenance.
Schofield also has complained that there are too many trees at Skykomish, but nobody seems inclined to do anything about that except to use the landing gear to keep them trimmed to 50 ft at the end of the runway.
Geoff "Bartender" McLean (1071) had to convince two generals to get into the plane with him after they watched him land at Ranger Creek. He says the looks on their faces were worth a thousand bucks, as they were both "as white as the snow" and muttering something about how he had missed the mountain not once but twice, and something else about the wheel struts in Mooneys being particularly strong. He ultimately resorted to the promise of "refreshments" to get them on board, knowing the Boss wouldn't be happy to hear he'd left them there.
After a slow climbout, he called Bouncing Betty for vectors to the ILS at McChord. She kept giving him higher and higher altitudes, but when she told him to go to 10,000 ft he drew the line, figuring his (ahem) plastered pax wouldn't survive it. He called McChord directly and landed "as smooth as ever." Hmmm.
McLean has requested an extra allowance for the "calming refreshments" he finds necessary to serve his passengers to keep them from a state of total panic while he's PIC. The Boss will answer just as soon as she quits laughing.
Sergey "Aerobat" Ostrozhinsky (1093) enjoyed good weather as he flew the Fokker back to Reid-Hillview. As he had no passengers, just cargo, he could fly like he wanted -- "killer loops, turns almost in place, and so on."
There is good news and bad news, Sergey. The good news is the cargo was very well secured. The bad news the stuff inside the boxes wasn't...
Ryan "*&%$ Math" Griffin-Stegink (1009) has offered the following formula to assist PGA pilots in determining the probability of a successful outcome of CPL18:
Grape Pickers={Noisy, Dirty, Disruptive} Pilot={Requires concentration, easily distracted by Grape Pickers} Grape Pickers+Pilot+Airplane={Disaster, mountain, smash, near-miss}
New hire Rick "Nerves" Smith (1114) flew his first mission for us this week, and says he had "first flight jitters." Despite that, we haven't heard tell of any bits of airplane scattering the countryside, so he must've done all right. Welcome aboard, Rick, and you think that was nerve-wracking, wait until your first trip with the Boss aboard!
Mike "Mechanic" Mitchell (1072) had a little problem with spontaneous fuel drainage and was forced to land at Buchanan. Fortunately, as the handy mechanic he is (his words!), he fixed the fuel line problem and was able to continue the flight. He suggests our new mechanic should have a closer look at the plane... but the new mechanic is missing! Wait a minute... did I just hear the Boss say she thinks she's found a replacement? Run for your life, Mike!
Eric "Outside the Lines" DeBordeaux (1075) wonders if the people at Skykomish find it spiritual to rub out the white lines on the runway, as he couldn't see them when he flew above. We'll be concerned if he saw them when he was on the ground, because Skykomish is a grass strip and there should be no lines...
Rubens A C "New Owner" Filho (1076) took his first flight in his new Piper Arrow N7625J this week, and chose to leap into aircraft ownership with both feet, as it were: Heavy turbulence, broken flaps, and a bent left main gear at Boeing Field. His plane will be spending this week waiting for the replacement mechanic.
Welcome to the club, Rubens!
16 May 2000
Lukexcom Breaks 200-hour Mark
TOOTSD Head Honcho Lukexcom (1039) became the first pilot to have flown over 200 hours entirely under the PGA banner this week. A plaque has been put up in the men's room to commemorate the occasion... well, OK, so it's not really a plaque so much as someone scratched his name and the date in the crud on the wall. But it's still quite an honor, right?
Congratulations, Luke! Excellent job, keep up the good work, and the Boss says to wake her when you hit 500 hours.
Top Pilots
This week's top pilot was Mike Mitchell (1072) with 13.8 hours. Number two pilot was Lukexcom (1039) with 12.06 hours.
Overall, Lukexcom remains PGA's high-hours pilot with a total of 201.26 hours, and Dave Spurlock (1094) is number two with 158.13 hours.
Great job, all of you!
Promotions
* Daniel Logan (1107) has been promoted to ATP
* Paul J Thomason (1067) has been promoted to Private Pilot
* Urban Potocnik (1034) has been promoted to Private Pilot
* Peter Hart (1095) has been promoted to Student Pilot
* John Green (1115) has been promoted to Student Pilot
Congratulations!
Boss Takes Leave of Senses
PGA Boss Shanya... wait a minute. That's not news to anyone here, is it? We thought not. Sorry.
McLean Makes National News
Geoff McLean (1071) made the front page of the National Enquirer this week after being escorted to Coupeville Nolf by the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701D. He says the ship was cleverly disguised as a cloud, but unmistakeable all the same with "a disk in front and two nacelles in the back." It disappeared the moment he got back under Bouncing Betty's control.
He claims he wasn't drinking, although with five teenagers aboard he perhaps should have been. The Boss is in San Jose, so he managed to spend the balance of the day resting in the hangar, having donuts and coffee. Don't worry, Geoff -- we won't tell.
Pilot Reports
Daniel "Moskowite" Logan (1107) says he doesn't know why you guys complain about Moskowite, because he's flown in there a couple of times now and "it's a piece of cake." Great, because the Boss has been looking for someone to take the Bar... er, Windhawk into Moskowite!
Louis "Low Fuel" Leblond (1011) ferried a Mooney from San Jose to Seattle, and reports that fuel is scarce in Swanson these days. Of all the places to pick to land, he gets the one the tanker hasn't gotten to yet! Other pilots should be aware of this and plan accordingly.
Bjørn "L'artiste" Henjum (1044) has found a way to pay for the new upholstery in his Trainer. He was commenting how on the stains from ink, brewing slops, paint, and you-name-it made them look like something that could be sold to a modern art museum. Within 48 hours, the seats had sold at auction for an astounding sum.
The Boss says if she finds the seats in any of the company planes missing, heads will roll.
Ryan "Mildly Pixelated" Griffin - Stegink (1009) deigned to step out of his Mooney for a day and flew one of the company's new Trainer EGs. He says it's fancy to be sure, but the cockpit looked "a bit funky at 640x480." The Boss suggests that he stay away from the jet fuel for a few days and maybe his vision will clear up a bit.
New pilot John "Go Around" Green (1115) got to make a go-around on his very first flight this week. Management is pleased to hear he's so quick on the throttle. We'll see if he manages to miss the cow later on.
Sergey "Under the Bridge" Ostrozhinsky (1093) also made a flight in the company's new Trainer EG, testing the plane's low-altitude performance as he took some photographers out to snap some shots of ships passing under the bridge...
The Boss heard about it almost immediately, as Ostrozhinsky made five passes under the bridge with the photographers snapping away merrily and laughing like madmen. That was "ships passing under the bridge," Sergey. Not "ships, passing under the bridge."
However, it seems that one of the photographers managed (pure luck) to get a good shot through the window of one of the a cruise ships that clearly shows one of the state senators enjoying some quality time with a woman who is not his wife. Coincidentally, the whole matter has been dropped and buried quite thoroughly.
Michael "Butcher?" Droy (1069) says he nearly had some VERY FRESH steaks for dinner at the end of one trip. We're not sure if this means he missed the cow or if he was obliged to wait until the steaks were not quite so fresh... But what we really want to know is how you get the prop to cut steaks instead of making hamburger?
Rick "Hamburger" Smith (1114), on the other hand, made certain there was plenty of ground sirloin on hand for the weekly R&K Skyranch barbeque. Seems he was paying a little too much attention to his VSI and not enough to the world outside on touchdown...
Smith also took a turn in the new Trainer EG, and says he's pretty sure it will make him a better pilot, as he's positive he looked good flying it.
Peter Hart (1095) says he turned the carb heat off a tad early (on final) so the engine quit after he landed. Fortunately, he can push the Trainer by himself.
Geoff "Wheel Chock" McLean (1071) enjoyed ferrying around the cousin of the creator of the Linux OS this week, right up until the very end when things started to go a little strangely. First, he thought it odd that Sea-Tac had him landing on 34L, as it's usually the heavies landing there. Second, on final he found himself nose-to-nose with a 747. Fortunately, the 747's gear was already retracted. Third, tower handed him off to ground while he was still on the runway.
At this point, he figured out he was at the right airport... but talking to the wrong tower.
As he was sitting at the taxiway entrance a 747 came along and "sucked the whole plane under it." The radio chose that moment to go out, whereupon he told his passenger to bail out. He reports an emergency crew managed to hook a line onto the Renegade and extract it from behind the main gear of the 747.
The airline that owns the 747 has been sent a bill for using PGA's Renegade as a wheel chock.
Brian "Sidewalk" Schofield (1060) said it was an interesting landing at Apex Air Park, as the runway was so narrow he thought it was a sidewalk. The Boss was relieved to hear the company would not have to replace the gear on Schofield's plane after this landing, and has high hopes for his future with the company.
22 May 2000
CONGRATULATIONS RIP!
Rip (1042) made his first flight this week as a new DAD! His first-born son arrived on Monday, May 8. Congratulations!
Top Pilots
Daniel Bergman (1055) is PGA's top pilot this week with 12.31 hours, and Darby Willcox (1013) pulls up in second with 11.62 hours.
Overall, Lukexcom (1039) remains way out in front with 201.26 hours, while Darby Willcox (1013) has taken back second spot with 167.43 PGA hours.
Great work!
Promotions... er, Promotion
* Rick Smith (1114) has been promoted to Private Pilot
Congratulations!
Another Former BAC Pilot Hired
Former BAC pilot Tony Chau (BAC #1044) stumbled into the Boss's office this week with a handful of completed job applications and fairly begged for a job. Apparently Chau has spent the last nine months wandering aimlessly, flying here and there, and was so desperate for a sense of challenge he very nearly purchased Another Sim so he could join one of those other VAs out there in the wide world.
The Boss welcomed Chau to the crew and tossed him the keys to the same old Baron he used to fly for BAC all the time. Within minutes, he was out of grovel mode and inquiring about his BAC stock and the possibility of purchasing PGA stock. Good to have you back, Tony.
SAR Division In the Works
PGA pilots Robert Hawks (1050) and Jim Razzi (1113) are in the process of putting together a Search and Rescue division of PGA. Heaven knows we need one! Details are still being worked out. Stay tuned.
Luke Missing; Boss Personally Scraps TOOTSD Computer
TOOTSD Grand High Poobah Lukexcom (1039) was called into the Boss's office yesterday, and hasn't been seen nor heard from since. Interestingly, Darby's cat is looking fairly sated for a change.
Shortly after Luke's disappearance, the Boss was seen snipping through the various cords running to the TOOTSD computer with a very large set of bolt cutters. After a chorus of "Daisy, Daisy...", the machine ground to a halt, whereupon the Boss personally took the thing apart with her Leatherman, loaded the bits up into her plane, and dumped it far out to sea.
Pilot Reports
Tony "Glad to be Employed" Chau (1116) got reintroduced to everyone's favorite lady (ha!) at Bay Approach this week. Apparently he hadn't realized that she has it in for PGA pilots just like she did for BAC, and will vector them until they declare a fuel emergency. So much the better if it's dark and the weather is crappy. Welcome home, Tony!
Peter "Rusty" Jensen (1048) finally got the old Arrow behind the fuel tanks cleaned out and made his first flights for PGA in many months. He says he had forgotten how strong crosswinds could be, and had a little trouble with wind shear between the mountains. He says he's getting used to the flying again, however, and as soon as he feels really comfortable again we'll send him to Moskowite in a screaming crosswind.
Rubens A C "What Was That Thump?" Filho (1076) comments that jet pilots don't seem to worry about small planes while taking off from 31L at Boeing Field. We guess they don't figure you'll make much of a dent, Rubens.
In case anyone has been wondering where he's been, Jon"AAAARGH!"biggles (1079) spent literally weeks trying to finish SPPL7. We admire his dogged determination, what with radio failures, near misses, and countless attempts before he finally managed to put the Mooney on the airstrip at Bandera State...
Need we say more?
Mike "Runaway" Mitchell (1072) blew the dust off the runway getting out of San Jose on the way to Seattle after daring to stand up to the Boss and having a near miss with the priming crank handle. He was further surprised to find the Boss hot on his heels all the way out to his plane. He hid out in Medford overnight, then proceeded on up to Boeing the next day, where he went to grab a "quick rest" on the sofa in the hangar, but woke up in the hole behind the hangar when the dog started kicking dirt over him.
Matthew "Mooo!" Preston (1082) has requested carbon dating for the FBO coffee, and speculates that the cows around that area are a special breed for making those boxed steaks. Later on, he almost learned how well they go through the prop of a Trainer on takeoff... however, he had just enough airspeed to clear the cow, and so the good folk at R&K Skyranch were calling the Boss to complain that there had been no barbeque this week.
Preston also was foolish enough to request vectors "direct" from Bouncing Betty, and then was peeved when it became clear she'd forgotten him (how's that for a change?) as she chatted with the other traffic. He is amazed how the conditions can be completely IFR and yet the other pilots can spot traffic miles away.
Actually, we probably should have told him not to clean his windscreen with avgas...
Daniel "Stunt Pilot" Bergman (1055) reports he had to do quite an advanced aerobatic maneuver to avoid the cows on the runway at Sky Harbor, resulting in a wrecked propeller and a torn apart wing. We're wondering which maneuver that would be? Fortunately, one of the locals was not too disgruntled about missing the weekly barbeque, and lent him a welding set and some glue, and Bergman was soon on his way again.
Bergman also tried the new Trainer EG this week, noticed the engine wasn't sounding quite right, and made a forced landing after he discovered power slowly decreasing and carburetor heat didn't have any effect. He "fixed" the plane (assuming this means looked at the engine, jiggled some wires, checked the fuel, and kicked the tires), fired up and took off again. Five minutes later, the engine moaned and died completely, whereupon he made a "quite hard unpowered landing at Spanaway." Undaunted, he grabbed an unattended company Arrow that was on the field and proceeded on to Renton, where he says he was "about 10 meters from a midair collision with a Lear Jet..."
As he survived the encounter to submit the PIREP, we can safely presume he survived this encounter with the incredibly expensive Lear Jet. It's no wonder our insurance guy did a runner....
Geoff "Undertaker" McLean (1071) was rushing an emergency case to Santa Rosa in lousy weather. However, despite the nature of his flight, Bay Approach had the audacity to make him circle FOUR times before allowing him to intercept the localizer, despite that he was hollering at her that this was an EMERGENCY. She calmly responded by stating her policy not to respond to any emergency but engine out.
At last, he was on final, but then he saw another plane on the runway and was forced to shoot a missed.. he says as he hit the throttle he heard the guy in back give "kind of a groan/sigh." On his next attempt, he was able to land, but it was too late.. his pax was DOA.
Here, Geoff, have an extra doughnut... we know you tried.
Bill "Sightseer" Summers (1053) was flying his scientist buddies out to Lick Observatory and thought he would show them NASA Ames and Apple Computer on the way. Unfortunately, he found they were missing! Any pilot who has seen these important landmarks, return them at once! The Boss is not amused.
Anyway, Summers says Lick Observatory was exactly where it was supposed to be, and everyone had a fine time snapping photos as he circled the building. During this time, Summers reflected on how it is not much lower than Ben Nevis in Scotland, where he spent some four hours of slogging to reach the top, and how similar the terrain seems, and how much faster and easier an airplane is...
About this time, his passengers turned green and started yawning in full blown technicolor all over the plane, so he shook off his reverie and scooted back to the field as quick as he could.
Dave "Got the Blues" Spurlock (1094) has been enjoying the company King Air, but forgot a small detail when he took his passengers a little higher than he'd been with the Boss on his check flights. As the plane reached 10,000 ft, he noticed a red light on the master alarm panel, saying "cabin pressure". He checked the knob, saw it was set correctly, and glanced back to see his passengers busy with their laptops but taking on a bit of a bluish tinge. A bit more searching revealed a switch above the cabin pressure knob that, when flipped, made it a lot easier to breathe. When he checked again, however, the passengers were still a bit on the blue side... finally, he found the cabin heat controls and his passengers returned to their normal hue.
Ron "Sarcasm" Boylan (1062) thinks we should have more flights into or near Travis AFB. In his own words: First you contact "Approach", then they tell you to contact "Tower", Then "Approach" cuts in "on guard" and tells you to contact them! All this is while you are setting up for approach! When the "geniuses" finally figured out I wasn't landing at Travis AB, but at Travis Aero Club,Well...then I had to contact "Approach" again!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sergey "Long Flight" Ostrozhinsky (1093) says he would have had a short flight had he not decided to fly vectors ILS. He was directed on a long flight out to sea, and finally back to Oakland, giving him an extra half hour in the wet sky. Of course, he also had to land on Runway 11, which is about as far from the PGA FBO as you can get, so it was another half-hour taxiing to the ramp. But he learned his lesson -- after takeoff from Oakland he turned off his radios altogether and quickly found Marin without anyone's help. It was wet there too, but at least he didn't have to fly in it anymore.
Ryan "What Scrapes?" Griffin - Stegink (1009) stumbled into the FBO at Everett and headed right for the soda machine. He made some vague noises about almost killing himself landing the Beaver. The Boss would like to know what the scrapes on the sides of the floats are from?
30 May 2000
Looking Glass Aviation Joins the King Dome
So it is that, like the Seattle King Dome, Looking Glass Aviation has passed into the realm of "ghost" features in our favorite sim.
It was announced this week that Looking Glass Aviation and its parent company, Looking Glass Technologies, is closing its doors for good. The irony of the notice on the Looking Glass Technologies main page that they are hiring is not lost on any of us.
Believe us, if PGA could find a way to afford to buy the rights to the FU line of sims, it would in a heartbeat.
It should be noted that Tower at every airport in the Pier Glass service area will continue to refer to the vacant buildings as "Looking Glass Aviation" in honor of the company that made us all what we are.
Farewell to a great company that made the best flightsims ever. Anyone wishing to disagree with that assessment may meet the Boss behind the hangar later, she has a priming crank handle she'd like to show you.
Top Pilots
Mike Mitchell (1072) is PGA's top pilot this week, with 13.16 hours. Dave Spurlock (1094) came in second with 12.20 hours.
Overall, Lukexcom (1039) remains out in front with 201.26 hours, while Dave Spurlock (1094) takes second spot back from Darby with 177.03 total hours.
Great work!
Promotions
* Rolo Mace (1038) has been promoted to Sr. Capt. (Cat. I)
* Dustin Cochran (1080) has been promoted to ATP
* Ron Boylan (1062) has been promoted to Commercial Pilot
* Matthew Preston (1082) has been promoted to Private Pilot
* Fredrik Fagernes (1091) has been promoted to Student Pilot
* Alistair Lark (1117) has been promoted to Student Pilot
* Marek Gierlinski (1118) has been promoted to Student Pilot
* Ty Peres (1119) has been promoted to Student Pilot
* Louis Jalbert (1081) has been promoted to Student Pilot
Congratulations!
Captain Bazza Horrored... er, Honored by PGA
The PGA Board voted unanimously this week to honor the notorious... er, meritorious Captain Bazza for his efforts in adding to the PGA world by providing us with a hangar, FBOs, and other equipment for our facilities.
Captain Bazza is hereby appointed an honorary PGA pilot, bearing pilot number 7700 (which coincidentally happens also to be the transponder squawk code for an emergency situation). A plaque has been put up on the main roster page commemorating this fact.
Welcome to the crew, Captain. All the abuse, none of the pay.... Hey... Peter and Michael, I think we need to consider adding MORE of these honorary pilots!
Smokintodd Declared Dead
Six months after Smokintodd disappeared into the sunset with a brand new unpaid-for Hawker bizjet, the wayward PGA board member and Vice President Smokintodd has been declared dead. All of his assets will be forfieted to the company, including all of his PGA stock.
A very drunken Max Harrington, who lent him the $1,055,700 for the purchase of the jet, was heard to comment that there still is a reward for the return of Todd or his remains, and an even bigger one for the return of the Hawker or its remains.
Seems it wasn't insured against disappearance into thin air....
Missing Mustang Found
The Mustang that has been missing since there was no party not held at San Jose back in January has turned up at Boeing Field.
As to how it got there... no one is talking.
"It's like some kind of Bermuda Triangle event, only it's nowhere near Bermuda," commented a random pilot.
Petaluma Runway Report
Sergey sinks into the runway Pilot Sergey Ostrozhinsky (1093) reported that runway conditions at Petaluma were less than optimal this week as the heat caused the asphalt to melt so that his plane sank (see picture). Fortunately, he had enough power in his Arrow (it can't be stock...) to pull free of the liquified runway and continue his flight.
The FAA has designated Petaluma as a seaport until the heat wave is over and runway conditions return to some sembalnce of normal. It has been requested that pilots refrain from swimming in the runway.
McLean Vexes STS Tower
Santa Rosa tower made a complaint against PGA pilot Geoff McLean (1071) this week, alleging that McLean was verbally abusive to a Tower controller and demanding that disciplinary action be initiated against said pilot. The Boss refused, pointing out that McLean was merely operating under his authority as pilot in command in an emergency situation, which includes establishing clear communication with any relevant controllers.
The Tower responded with veiled threats, despite that a full two minutes of the Tower tape was mysteriously blank. The Boss responded with a request under the Freedom of Information Act that should keep them very busy collecting and copying documents and other information for a few days at least.
Pilot Reports
A pilot's life... Matt "Boy Scout" Preston (1082) made the best of the situation when he found himself stuck at Apex Airpark overnight. Rather than try to sleep in the plane or seek out accomodation for the night, Preston pitched a tent by the plane and passed the night in comfort. He sent the Boss a picture of his setup, which may be seen at right and the Boss says looks altogether too comfortable for a pilot.
New pilot Marek "Ping Pong Ball" Gierlinski (1118) optimistically requested vectors ILS from Tacoma Narrows to Paine Field this week, whereupon he got sent north of the airport, then three times back and forth on an extended base leg before finally being allowed to intercept the localizer. The flight ended up taking 50 minutes. Gierlinski was heard to say he will request vectors direct next time, on the assumption that it will be faster. To their credit, the old-timers around the coffeepot managed to keep straight faces and nod solemnly until after Marek left the room.
Rick "Catastrophe" Smith (1114) had an eventful week, including getting cut off by an Arrow on final to Petaluma, a "good healthy BOUNCE!!" that put his prop into the ground, at least two radio failures ("I know I'm new here, but there must be a mechanic around here somewhere to yell at"), his first encounter with "Bouncing Betty" ("never again! it would have been more pleasant to crash"), a nosewheel failure ("sounds a little like fingernails on a chalkboard if you ask me"), and a fuel leak ("does this happen a lot?" -- all of you quit that sniggering!). On the bright side, he says he did get a great snapshot through the big hangar at Moffett at night of the inside of the smaller hangar behind it while doing 165+kts at about 12 ft off the ground.
Anyone know why the is Boss holding her hands over her ears and singing loudly...?
Mark "Superstitious" Blades (1077) says the "phantom fuel drinker" has arisen yet again to suck the fuel from his left wing tank, and to mess up his radios in the process. Nonetheless, like the true PGA pilot he is, he plowed doggedly onwards in near zero visibility, managing to find the airport due to the "serendipitous movement of cloud banks at the right moment" that left him contemplating the existence of a supreme being.
Considering this is a virtual plane flying in a virtual sky and the virtual clouds moved... no, we're not going to think too hard about this...
Mike "Wrong Way" Mitchell (1072) found winds aloft at about 15,000 ft near Mt. Rainier that had him tracking backwards over the ground in the Trainer EG. He doesn't tell us how long it was before he noticed, but it did take him over 2-1/2 hours to fly SPPL10....
Paul "Fuel Spill" Thomason (1067) rounds out the three cases necessary to call it an epidemic of leaky fuel tanks this week, as he took off from Buchannan in the Mooney and found his right tank empty in less than three minutes. Even the Mooney isn't quite that much of a gas guzzler!
Coolsaet "Where am I?" Sylvain (1059) informs us that finding your way at SFO is a challenge, and more so if your radios are broken. Actually, most of us find navigation at SFO to be much easier without radios. Just figure out which way to the FBO and go for it... you don't have to listen to sarcastic ground controllers that way.
Dave "Animal Trainer" Spurlock (1094) had the pleasure of flying a family of chimps to San Diego, and let the trainer ("she was a real looker") talk him into allowing them to ride in the seats as passengers rather than in cages. Despite his having been assured that they could not operate the seatbelts, Spurlock eventually landed at San Diego with a demolished radio stack, shredded passenger seat covers, one of the tables between the seats ripped from the bulkhead, the toilet stall door torn from its hinges, a shredded favorite cap, a bloody nose, broken Ray Ban sunglasses, a destroyed headset, a bitten shoulder, a wide assortment of scrapes and bruises, and three chimpanzees duct-taped into their seats.
If the San Diego Zoo calls for the Boss, she is NOT in!
Sergey "Runway Heading" Ostrozhinsky (1093) was told to fly runway heading and, as usual, the controller promptly forgot about him. So he continued to fly runway heading, and eventually flew "through the looking glass" where he was able to turn to the proper heading, but says he spent some strange minutes trying to orient himself in the repeating tiles of rivers and hills.
One of the mechanics noticed soon thereafter that Sergey's "whiskey compass" seems to contain cognac...
6 June 2000
Director Michael Richards Elected PGA Vice President
With the legal demise of Smokintodd, the remaining PGA Board of Directors convened a special meeting this week and elected new officers. Shanya "Webmistress" Dzhjonovna (1001) was re-elected President and CEO; Peter "Volunteer for What?" Fellowes (1002) was re-elected as Secretary/Treasurer; and Michael "Did Somebody Call Me?" Richards (1003) was elected Vice President.
Spurlock Hits 200 Hours
PGA Supervisor Dave Spurlock (1094) passed the 200 hour mark this week. Spurlock started with PGA on January 26, and holds the record for the fastest rise through the ranks here at PGA.
Of course, this means that Dave will join Darby and Luke in having Baldrick scratch his name in the crud on the restroom wall. No... we aren't sure how he does it either, but we are sure we don't want to know.
Top Pilots
Dave Spurlock (1093) is PGA's top pilot this week, with 23.65 hours. Dylan Cummins (1016) came in a distant second with 13.68 hours.
Overall, Lukexcom (1039) remains out in front with 201.26 hours, while Dave Spurlock (1094) stays in second with 200.68 total hours.
Great work!
Promotions
* Louis Leblond (1011) has been promoted to Senior Captain
* Tony Chau (1116) has been promoted to Senior Captain
* Dave Keeran (1031) has been promoted to Captain
* Sergey Ostrozhinsky (1093) has been promoted to ATP
* Rick Smith (1114) has been promoted to Commercial Pilot
* Lars Boehme (1088) has been promoted to Commercial Pilot
Congratulations!
Boss Taking a Vacation
PGA Boss Shanya "OUTTA here!" Dzhjonovna (1001) will be leaving the company in the capable hands of directors Peter "No Parties (please note that's plural)" Fellowes and Michael "Hadn't Even Crossed My Mind" Richards while she goes off to do secret pilot stuff.
For most pilots, it will be business as usual. The Boss's pilots should continue to report to her, but all supervisors should note that Interesting PIREPs or other information should be forwarded to Peter until further notice. The Boss will forward all interesting PIREPs received to date to Peter, so don't worry about those.
Explosion Rocks OAC
PGA's main rival in the Bay Area, Oakland Air Charters, was hit by an explosion this week that destroyed a storage room and blew a hole the size of a Beechjet in the side of one of their hangars. No aircraft were damaged and no one was injured in the blast, and damage seems to have been confined to the storage room, the hangar wall, the propane tank, and a locked file cabinet that was in the room. An agitated OAC representative hotly denied that there was anything of any importance in the file cabinet.
Investigation into the cause of the explosion revealed that a propane tank kept in said storage room had been "subjected to detonation" by an "unknown reactant", according to San Jose arson investigators.
R&K Skyranch Complaints
The people at R&K Skyranch have been calling the Boss to complain that the service just isn't as good as it used to be. The Boss says she suspects the problem might be the dearth of barbeques in recent weeks. Fortunately, new pilots are signing on fairly regularly, and there is hope that one or more of the new students will oblige.
Lukexcom Missing -- Kitty Presumed Fed
PGA Computer Hack Lukexcom (1039) has not been seen nor heard from since being called into the Boss's office a couple of weeks ago and Kitty left the Boss's office shortly thereafter, licking her chops.
Rumors are flying... is he dead? Has the Boss locked him in the safe? Has he finally been assimilated by HAL? No one knows....
Broom Closet
Rumors have been going around that something is amiss in the broom closet at the back of the hangar, but no one seems to be willing to check to see what it might be.
Some months ago, a spare engine for a Beechjet somehow got wedged into the broom closet, and no one has been able to figure out a) how it got in there, or b) how to get it out. Cutting is out of the question, as it would affect one of the main structural members of the hangar.
The Boss learned that something was going on when Baldrick mysteriously appeared with a dozen fresh doughnuts. Upon being questioned, he said that "Captain Dave" had given them to him for his promise not to tell about the broom closet.
After quite a lot of thought, the Boss decided that whatever it is, she doesn't think she wants to know this week.
Pilot Reports
Rubens "It's Alive!" Filho (1076) complains that nobody told him whatever was in the box he delivered this week was alive... or that it would smell so badly...
Rick "Nosewheel" Smith (1114) lost no fewer than THREE nosewheels off the Mooney this week, setting a new record for that particular part. He's suggesting they aren't putting it on tight enough. He also lost (literally) his flaps while climbing out at Skykomish, bringing his total parts bill to something that has the Boss reaching for the medicinal liquor.
Knowing that he already was on shakey ground, Smith found himself holding behind a Citation on 34 at Renton, waiting for the three planes making circuits to get out of the way so they could go, and knowing the Boss was going to have a conniption if he was late. So, taking a page from the PGA manual (the one we make up as we go along), he sneaked around the Citation and managed to get the wheels up just a little after the plane coming in called final.
Matt "Not Boring!" Preston (1082) reports that overall he is quite pleased by the new "two planes per runway" rule that was recently adopted by the FAA to assist ATC in dealing with airport congestion. He had a chance to take part in a Terminal Employment Runway Redundancy Operational Requirement (TERROR) procedure last week as he was cleared to land and tower cleared another plane to take off as he was on final. He reports the operation came off smoothly, as he flew over her before she lifted off and she flew over him after he touched down.
Alistair Lark (1117) managed to have two radio failures this week, but gave the FAA a hand at R&K by ensuring the trees at the end of the runway were trimmed to exactly 50 ft. He comments he was glad he wasn't landing on the "other" strip because there was a cow standing in the way...
Paul "Nutcase" Thomason (1067) suffered an electrical failure that affected his radio and navigation instruments. His comment? "Very amusing."
The Boss is adding a cryptic little note to his personnel file...
Marek "Where Am I?" Gierlinski (1118) enjoyed a full week with PGA, what with dodging cows on the runway, a little en route lesson about carb heat, some fun with ATC, and trying to find Port Angeles on the best of days. Apparently someone forgot to mention the recent U.S. Army Corps of Engineers project to remove that distinctive penninsula known as Ediz Hook as a hazard to navigation. There they go again, always thinking of the boats, never thinking of airplanes that might consider the lack of that penninsula to be a hazard to navigation!
Sergey "Anybody Got a Light?" Ostrozhinsky (1093) says going into Allan Ranch at night was a mockery. He could not see anything except the beacon, and even the landing light on his Arrow was doing him no good. However (and all you other pilots might take note of this next bit), he remembered where the beacon is located and the runway altitude... so he flew at 50 ft right over the beacon, cut the engine, and put on the brakes. Finally, he noticed his airspeed decreasing rapidly and then he stopped. He says it was dark, but the aircraft was sitting at a considerable angle in the darkness and he couldn't tell where he was in relation to the runway. He got out and checked that the Arrow was sitting at an angle because of the terrain and not because of bent gear, then taxied over to the beacon and found the FBO. Near the door he bumped into the waiting passenger (hopefully not with the plane), and did his preflight in the dark by touch. Finally, he got off the ground and on his way to Santa Rosa... which IS well lighted!
Daniel "Long Haul" Logan (1107) made a relatively uneventful flight from San Jose to Seattle, experiencing only one engine failure (glided in for a landing at Medford without breaking anything) and one fuel tank draining dry along the way (the fuel attendant at Medford neglected to screw the fuel cap on properly, and Daniel failed to check it during preflight). The Boss is nonplussed. Why, when SHE went to fly from San Jose to Seattle, SHE had the electrical system, vacuum syste...
Hey... where did everybody go?
Tony "Sleepless in Seattle" Chau (1116) was starting his takeoff roll in the Renegade at Bremerton when suddenly a car came out of nowhere and "jumped" in front of him, and WHAM! off came the right wing. He had the plane fixed and proceeded on his way. After this experience, however, he decided to head back to the Bay Area in the Mooney because he was sleepless in Seattle... probably figured the Boss would be on her way up THERE after hearing what he did with the Renegade... good move, Tony!