22 Jan 2011

Official Word: No Party Never Happened

The first official South County PGA no-party very definitely did not happen. There was absolutely not any incident failing to involve a tow-cart, a towable barbeque grill, steaks, red-hot coals, and an overzealous tow-cart racer. No steaks were not consumed, no beer was not imbibed, and no delicacies were under no circumstances taken in. Additionally, there were absolutely no transgrettions of no regulations at no time before, during, or after the non-event.

Right. So remember that if anyone comes asking.

Toolbox Missing

The Boss and Cap'n Dave were dismayed to not dis... er, were dismayed to discover that the Craftsman toolbox formerly in the corner of the hangar and which somehow miraculously survived the fire that utterly destroyed everything else even remotely related to PGA, has gone missing.

Most pilots should remember this toolbox as being the subject of a long-standing order to never, ever, under any circumstances, open it. No matter how badly you need a tool.

The Boss believes (hopes) that one of the rival airlines scavenged the rollaway from the ruins before she got there to retrieve it, and that it's not in the hands of acronymic federal agents. She asks that all pilots keep their eyes out for the big toolbox, which is red and features black scorch marks and a bit of warping, and reminds them that, if located, to immediately notify the Boss.

And whatever else you do, do not open it.


Tourists Missing - SJC Security Increased

The Department of Homeland Inconvenience reports that several tourists who recently flew in to San Jose have been reported missing.

"According to our investigation, the individuals in question never left the airport. This is, of course, of paramount concern as a matter of national inconvenience," advised DHI spokesperson Gordon Nott in a recent press conference.

"Until the tourists have been located, security levels will be elevated to Infrared at San Jose International. Enhanced security measures will be in effect, both for aircraft and at Terribly Serious Agency security screening checkpoints," Nott continued.

These measures will include a thorough inspection by DHI agents of every aircraft landing at and departing from San Jose International, immediately prior to each departure and immediately after each landing. A series of inspection stickers is being produced to identify inspected aircraft, linking the aircraft to a detailed report prepared by the inspector. Any discrepancies in a given aircraft from one inspection to the next will be thoroughly investigated.

Additionally, TSA screening will be enhanced with DNA testing at the gate. According to TSA spokesperson N. Connie Venence, samples of blood, saliva, and hair will be collected from each passenger as they go through the security checkpoint, and the DNA for each will be compared. Any discrepancies between DNA from the three tests will result in the passenger being subjected to additional testing to establish their correct identity. Specialized equipment is being installed to expedite the DNA testing.

"Passengers should expect some delays as they go through security," Venence advised. "It is recommended that departing passengers arrive at the airport at least 24 hours prior to their scheduled departure."

Bay Area Employment Up - Economy in Recovery

Bay Area unemployment numbers took a sharp nosedive this week, which economists are touting as proof-positive that the economy is in a solid recovery.

Proliferation of Planes at South County

An unusual proliferation of aircraft at South County (Q99 or E16, depending who you ask) has caused some questions to be asked, such as "what are all these planes doing here?"

The Boss would like everyone to know that it has nothing to do with PGA so don't worry about it. They're just planes, they're just here, and who knows what was going through people's heads. But as they're here, we may as well fly them if we need them, especially if they happen to be up for rental, which most of them seem to be.

"It's an amazing coincidence, but really of no consequence," she stated, adamantly.

World News: AP Brazil

Snails Threaten Amazon Jungle

The Brazilian rainforest continues to be threatened by the proliferation of Helix italia supersonica, also known as the Italian Racing Snail, despite government efforts to control the pest.

The snails were apparently introduced to the environment by an unknown vector in the vicinity of Barcelos, Brazil, in approximately January 2002. While the snails were initially kept in check by their only indiginous predator, the Brazilian Snail Eating Pigeon, the last known male of the species was vaporized by the propeller of an unidentified ultralight aircraft, according to Ornithologist Miguel Romerez, who witnessed the event. Attempts to breed the remaining females with other pigeons were unsuccessful. "The last female pigeon died of obesity while sitting on a nest of unfertilized eggs," Romerez reports, sadly.

Since that time, the snails have proliferated freely, posing a substantial threat to local flora.

Romerez has vowed to identify and locate the pilot of the ultralight, and the government has advised that charges will be brought against this individual who has single-handedly brought devastation to the Amazon basin.


Sometime in January 2011...

PGA Lives!

We're baaaack! Whether or not the suits like it... a newly designed webpage, a new facility, a new format (check out the Ops Manual), and a new start. We don't have much but a little hangar, a maintenance facility, an Airstream trailer, and our certificate. In fact, that's pretty much all we have.

So what are you doing standing around? There are charters to fly and an FBO to support!

(Oh yes, we do have the same old management...)

PGA SJC Facility Seized, Mysteriously Burns

Yes, it's true. PGA's long-held San Jose FBO was seized by the federal government under a little-known federal law allowing a warrantless seizure -- but not search -- of properties suspected in certain kinds of unspecified criminal investigations.

Within hours of the seizure, the entire facility tragically burned to the ground in a mysteriously hot and fast fire that took local firefighting forces hours to control. The Fire Marshall is investigating the cause of the blaze, and arson has not been ruled out.

PGA Moves to South County

In the wake of the demise of PGA SJC (and pretty much everything else we had), the crew has been straggling in to our new facility at South County - Q99 or E16, depending on your sim. We have an FSE-based FBO there with a maintenance facility, thanks to the efforts of The Old Man and Avian in particular. Now it's up to the rest of you to put to and keep the tanks and the coffers full.

Old News

Really Old News (Archive)